Following the rules Part 2

Capitalists are no more capable of self-sacrifice than a man is capable of lifting himself up by his own bootstraps. (Quote by - Vladimir Lenin)


At some point here I'm going to have to admit that I don't really believe there is much value in performing something you see as sacrifice if you do it just for the sake of sacrifice. The spiritual benefits from sacrifice come from doing a selfless act and there's a paradoxical situation that when you see something as a sacrifice and do it for that purpose (to gain spiritual rewards) that it becomes a little less self-less.

Indeed, most of the things that I do in observance of my religion's laws I would never say feel like a sacrifice. Is it really that hard to not drink?... no, not really, I can't say as I've ever felt I was suffering from lack of alcohol. Is it really something I would have to "endure" to not use drugs, or to not gamble?... Not so much. Like many changes in life you adjust and move on and after a while there is little question or desire for these things. There were small teaspoonful doses of sacrifice along the way but very rarely is this sort of thing done "cold-turkey" with the accompanying strongly-felt pangs of withdrawal. It is usually a process with the slightly less felt cravings of withdrawal.

And I can't even say that the process always takes that linear path, there are sometimes swings and shifts and backsliding. We are created of a physical and spiritual self and our physical self will always have cravings and will always struggle with desires and actions that our even our logical mind might tell us are not in our best interest (Another piece of cheesecake?...Well, I wouldn't want it to go to waste.)

While I could easily be distracted and veer entirely off my subject at the mention of cheesecake it brings me quite neatly to my next point, and that is the idea of consumption. We, as Americans, have been consumed by consumption. We are trained from our earliest days to be consumers. Infants wear Nike sneakers and have brand-name strollers (often more than one). Even before elementary school kids are already demanding that their parents buy them the latest toy that their friends all have and that they've seen on television. Telephones are out-dated in 6 months and clothing styles change with the seasons. Products are designed to fail and styles designed to be temporary so that consumers can feel a constant need for "new." While there is nothing inherently bad in ownership there are often negative effects. Buddhism speaks beautifully about detachment as "freedom from lust, craving and desires" and relates that desire is the cause of suffering and elimination of desire eases suffering. I think it's also important to look at the side-effects of our attachment and consumption. One of those effects is this sense of "need" that skews our normal sense of values. Like I related in part 1 of this posting I had a re-alignment of what I saw as "need" after living in one of the poorest countries in the world. Americans as a whole are rarely exposed to those far outside of their economic level and often have very little concept of what life is like in other tax brackets*. The growing emphasis on consumerism only serves to further our sense of "need". We feel we are falling behind our peers--items that wouldn't make it to even the upper echelons of Maslow's Hierarchy are instead given the status of "needed". This focus on self and belief that we are still "in need" can leave little room for charity, generosity and compassion for others; it negates the concept of moderation and eliminates perspective for temperance, self-control, and restraint.

As a Baha'i I observe the Baha'i Fast. For a period of 19 days, leading up to the celebration of the Baha'i New Year, I abstain from food or drink between sunrise and sunset. I find I have a heightened awareness of many things when fasting. Some of the things I'm aware of are simply due to changes in my routine, while others are due to the physical nature of fasting. I am more aware of the changes in the day, the sound of birds that grow louder as the first light enters the sky and reach their peak at sunrise. The quickness with which the world grows dark once the sun sets. The things I miss when I'm not eating: the warmth of a cup of tea in the afternoon, the pleasure of an afternoon piece of candy, the joy of socializing over lunch with friends. I am aware of the sensation of hunger and lethargy that sometimes come over me in the afternoon. The joy of finally eating at sunset, the tastes of food heightened by my hunger. I feel more human, more frail, more aware of myself, my body, and my needs. While I enjoy my dinner I also recognize its need to nourish me and I put extra effort into eating healthy food that will nourish and sustain me and will not tax my system or fill me without providing nutrition. Throughout all of this I also am aware of bounty. I am aware that I am starting and ending each day with foods that are easily available to me, not a burden on my budget, and that are as nutritious as I make them. It helps me to remember how much of a blessing that is and that there are many people throughout the world for which all three of those things are a struggle. It awakens my sense of compassion.

In addition to awareness of the plight of others, the fast also makes me aware of my own ability to suffer. Although it is mild, hunger is not pleasant,and working while hungry and tired, going about your daily life for 19 days while fasting can be difficult. But this too brings insight. In a way I thank all of those who shake their heads and tell me "I could never do that" because I know I can. I know it because I've done it for some 19 years. And in the end that is empowering. Doing something that is difficult and that requires discipline, will-power, and determination once a year before the Baha'i New Year celebration gives me strength to believe in my abilities and perspective to see what is really important.

So as an exercise in will-power daily fasting might make sense but what about daily prayer, what about abstaining from alcohol and all the other "rules" that come with religion? Well this may be part of where I go back to "faith" a little and instead of writing objectively I have to write more personally. First allow me to give a quick example of prayer for Baha'is:

I bear witness, O my God, that Thou hast created me to know Thee and to worship Thee. I testify, at this moment, to my powerlessness and to Thy might, to my poverty and to Thy wealth.

There is none other God but Thee, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting.

~Bahá’u’lláh

As you can see the prayer is written in the first person and in it the reader/speaker is recognizing qualities of God and the reader's position, purpose, and qualities as God's creation.

If you have ever read Malcolm Gladwell's Blink you are probably familiar with the concept of "priming", if not you have likely heard of "positive affirmations" and the effect of words and statements we say to ourselves upon our subconscious. By this standpoint alone I think one could believe that there was value in daily prayer. If only to remind ourselves of beliefs we hold and hear ourselves say them or to read lists of virtues that we might be better able to recall and display during our daily lives. Those words will echo in our subconscious and affect our actions throughout the day.

But for a believer there is the added belief that you are reading the word of God and the advice and beliefs that he has set down for you. If you believe these words to be from God and believe also that he wants the best for you, you will not see the laws and admonitions set forth as restrictions and punishment, you will see them as guidance, as a prescription for well-being. Looked at as such "laws" become "medicine" and following them becomes a means for bettering yourself. So when I look at a prescription that tells me not to drink alcohol, or speak ill of others, or gamble I know it is best for my spiritual health (and in some cases possibly physical health as well.) I can break these laws but it will be my own spiritual health that will suffer.

Additionally, for a believer there is a sense of loving commitment. If you are to say "Yes, this is the Word of God," and you believe that God has given you this advice out of love for his creation, and you desire a closer relationship with God you are then entering into a "committed relationship." And just like any other "committed relationship" there are obligations. So while your spouse might have certain things they ask you to do out of love and commitment to them (faithfulness, fidelity, financial security, leaving the toilet seat down, etc.) there are things that a believer will do out of love and commitment to God (prayer, fasting, observing laws, trying to better themselves spiritually, being kind and generous to others, etc.) And just as in marriage, respecting and honoring this commitment can strengthen the relationship.

I also see this "prescription for well-being" also is a fundamental part of our development as people. Just as we teach children that they need to share their toys, to be polite, to be kind, to be clean, to eat their vegetables, and we do so to help them grow into well-adjusted, healthy and respectable adults, we, as adults need to continually develop ourselves. Learning to be honest and trustworthy and kind and generous and all the other moral teaching we confer upon children don't cease to be important as we become adults and without effort and training those qualities will not continue on, let alone grow, as we go through life. How many of us share our toys as adults? How many of us eat our vegetables even if we don't like them? How many of us are polite and respectful to our elders?

Athletes, scientists, and memory specialist can all tell you about mental plateaus or walls. These mental blockades exist when someone thinks that they have either pushed themselves to the limit or have pushed themselves as far as they need to go. Whether it is the speed of a typist or of a sprinter they know that breaking the next barrier is often just a matter of exercising mental skills. Once you have learned to type you are no longer focused on learning and your brain will stop focusing on the task of learning and your speed will likely remain the same the rest of your life. If you want to speed up your typing you will have to change something in your way of thinking. It is not that your hands CAN'T type 80wpm it is that you got comfortable at 40. With proper focus and pushing yourself beyond comfortable limits, forcing yourself to type faster than you are comfortable with regardless of the number of mistakes, you can increase your speed and continue your growth. But this is challenging and you will likely make many typos along the way. But failing is a part of growth. The typos and stumbling along the way are things that must be sacrificed for growth, but first the realization that additional growth is possible and a proper method for reaching it have to be established. For me, Religion provides that realization and prayer and prayerful-action (following of laws, making necessary sacrifices) provide the method for this growth. While many of us may believe we are kind enough or generous enough or that we are not overly effected by materialism or gluttony or pride we may find that following the laws set forth by religion help us break past walls we didn't even know were holding us in and reach new levels of awareness and growth. At the very least you can expect to learn something new about yourself with every challenge that you meet, be it external or self-imposed, so why not set a few that will draw out your best attributes?

(I've been sitting on this post for a while looking for the right ending but have determined that I want it "out there" despite a possible need for re-organization and a few more points I'd like to cover. Let me know if there is anything you think I should have included but didn't.)

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*Today I read that 42% of American millionaires do not feel rich and would need to have at least $7.5M before they felt they were.




The world will never have lasting peace so long as men reserve for war the finest human qualities. Peace, no less than war, requires idealism and self-sacrifice and a righteous and dynamic faith. (Quote by - John Foster Dulles)

Following the Rules Pt. 1

[Note: this is the first part of what I intend to be a two part post. Edits to this post may be made as the second half is finished and edited.]


I've once again been trolling through some of my old blog posts (both published and unpublished) and marveling at the range of topics I've covered (is it still vanity if I can't even remember doing it?) In 2007 I wrote a blog post that dealt with a topic I've been discussing and thinking about frequently of late.

If I remember correctly, the impetus for the conversation I was having in that post had to do with religion and the multitude of laws or "rules" that its followers were told to obey. The person I was communicating with was not religious and believed that, while there might be a spiritual value to an individual participating in religion, that religion itself was perhaps too strict and that its precepts and rules should be regarded individually for their value. I assume it would follow that these rules should therefore be abandoned if their results could not be seen/quantified, and/or proven (or possibly if they prove too inconvenient to follow?) It is a discussion that I have heard echoed several times throughout my life.

In that post I seem to be defending these rules using an argument that rules create a structure in which creativity and communication often flourish and that we cannot actually judge a rule until we have embraced it and worked within its boundaries to see all of its effects. I compared it to the training musicians have that allow them to play in harmony together as a band or the frame and tension a partner dancer uses to communicate with their partner. Without these rules the chaos of the individual can never experience the joy of the whole.

While I still think there is some value to that argument, today I'd like to approach the subject from a different angle. It is perhaps a bit more personal for me to talk about my own religion and beliefs not in some abstract way, but as an individual believer so I apologize in advance if some of my viewpoints stray from an objective voice or if my thoughts on some matters do not seem fully formed. Like the rest of the world, I'm a work in progress.

I am a Baha'i. I am one of millions of Baha'is around the world. I am not an authority on my religion, I am not a perfect Baha'i and many times I wouldn't even say I'm a very good one. The Baha'i Faith, whether you've heard of it or not, is considered one of the world's major religions. It has a central figure (Baha'u'llah), volumes upon volumes of Holy Writings, a calendar with 9 Holy Days, a Holy Land, and a book of laws. It is sometimes difficult for people new to the knowledge of the Baha'i Faith to grasp the size and complexity of teachings and laws, but I am fairly certain it would be just as baffling to try to understand the whole of Hinduism, Christianity, Buddhism, or Islam if you had no prior knowledge of them.

Baha'is believe in God, and believe the teachings of Baha'u'llah are the teachings of God on Earth. As such it would be easy enough to simply say that as a Baha'i I must blindly follow the laws because God told me to, but I think this simple acceptance leaves no room for any sort of explanation for the non-believer. It is the age old excuse of "I don't need proof I have faith" which seems to do nothing towards acceptance and only makes the speaker sound to the non-believer as if their rules and beliefs are unfounded and unexplainable. So in these two posts I will attempt to explain my reason(s) for believing that following the laws of my religion are important.

Let me make it clear that as much as I love a thorough, logical argument there are likely to be many instances in which I must still resort to saying "because I believe" and I ask that you look at these as simply a case-study for the thoughts of a believer. This post is not about my religion per se and its intention is not to try to convert a reader to my thoughts or beliefs, but simply to explain, for those who have asked and for those that might be curious, why it is I try to follow these laws. Additionally I do not make claim that my reasoning is true for all people of religious beliefs or even other Baha'is, and although in some cases these beliefs might be similar, each individual is unique and must therefore have their own unique relationship with God and religion.

...so

First off some background: I live in Chicago, the third largest city in the United States. I have friends of diverse backgrounds but the majority of them are college-educated and reside somewhere in the range of the middle class. True to that demographic a large number of my friends are Atheists, agnostic, or are not involved in any sort of organized religion. The most common instance for someone to find out about the laws or restrictions of my religion is when they ask me why I don't drink. The second most common instance occurs during the 19 days of the Baha'i Fast when I have to explain why I'm not eating. Responses for both range from curiosity to disgust. I don't know how many times I've had someone just look at me and say rather sadly, “Why would you do that to yourself?” as if I were involved in some sort of hideous self-mutilation rather than the minimally invasive restricting of food and drink for 12 hrs or as simple as abstaining from alcohol.

More and more I've come to realize that a large part of this gap between me and the people I'm talking to is due to American culture as it is today. It seems the average American has little to no real grasp of, or experience with sacrifice. Sacrifice and self-restraint are key ideas in religious teachings of many religions but are often looked at by American society as if some sort of barbaric Medieval torture. I know that sacrifice was a component in our American culture just a few generations ago. During the second World War the nation began rationing supplies and recycling metal. People bought war bonds and men signed up to voluntarily serve in the military. The war efforts were pushed as needing the collaboration and support of each individual and people believed in their “patriotic duty” to help these efforts. These were all examples of people sacrificing for the greater cause. But then those same people had just survived the Great Depression. They had experienced suffering and many had learned to work as a community to help each other out. My own grandmother had a “brother” who was taken in by the family when a neighbor could no longer afford to take care of him. I struggle to imagine any circumstance that would draw out these qualities and universal commitment towards a common goal in our society today. Despite our economic down-turn I look around and see the level of “sacrifice” this recession has led to for many amounts to waiting an extra month before upgrading to the newest, sleekest smart phone on the market or forgoing their annual or semi-annual vacation in favor of a stay-cation. Is it any wonder that sacrifice is a foreign concept?

In fact I can greatly attribute a good amount my perspective on sacrifice to having been a foreigner. For a year before going to college I lived and did service work in southern Africa. I lived in several countries and stayed in everything from mud brick homes with grass thatch roofs in Malawian villages to a lovely apartment in a chic neighborhood in Cape Town. But regardless of where I was during that year, poverty was never far away. When I returned to the States I found it difficult to fathom that the frivolous purchase of a candy bar in the check-out lane was enough money to feed someone for a week in Malawi, or that I could buy a shirt with the money necessary to send a girl to school for a year. All of these years later these thoughts still linger. To sacrifice something is to “endure the loss” of that thing. How can I possibly say I'm sacrificing when I have a house full of objects, closets full of clothes and so much food that invariably some of it will go bad before I have a chance to eat it? I am so shrouded and pillowed in my consumer goods that it would take a significant blow for me to be able to feel or endure any sort of loss. Natural disasters in recent years have brought record donations from Americans, and while I applaud the sense of connection and humanity of those actions I still feel that they have come, for the most part, as one-time donations of those watching and reading emotionally and making an empathetic gesture within their comfort range. Most will feel fulfilled with that one action and will no longer feel the need for additional donations. How many have made gestures that made a real difference in their own personal comforts to improve the lives of others?

More on consumerism, will-power/determination, and commitment/relationships in Part 2...

Addiction/Support

I was just watching Flash Forward and one of the character's AA sponsors was encouraging him to attend "a meeting". The character had his 7 year sobriety chip but was worried about a relapse. I thought about how people attending AA meetings are urged to go regularly. They have to recall and remember why it is they don't drink and what effect drinking had on their lives on a regular basis in order to stay sober.

It struck me as interesting because this is something each of us really has to do for lots of things in our lives, just that most of us don't have recognized "support groups" to help us do so, but instead have to "bring... [ourselves]... to account each day"

What if there were rehab centers for things like gossiping, backbiting, lying, pride, materialism, etc.? What if we could go through a detox of these things and then have a means for follow-up, have weekly meetings where we recalled the negative effect these things had on our lives?

But then, is not this often the role of religion in our culture? Although my religion does not believe in confession of sins to another person, we still recognize our need to take daily inventory of our actions and ask for forgiveness for our transgressions. How do those without a delineated process or a call to action find the means and support necessary for permanent change and growth?

Just some thoughts.

Planning

So I've spent the last couple of days visiting cemetaries and funeral homes and my new 3 person family (my mom, my brother and I) are working on all the arrangements with an assorted army of people providing food and support from outside.

I really disliked the lady at the cemetary who kept "selling wrong" and driving me crazy by repeatedly telling us they were the cheapest around (value FIRST lady, then raise price AFTER the customer brings it up). She also kept throwing out the names of people on headstones and telling us how they died and acting as if we might recognize them because of their story ("Oh now, he was 19, he died last year in a car accident...He was in the back seat drinking and having a good time with his friends"). Weird!

The lady at the Funeral Home was amazing though: consumate professional. Brought up every item we might consider buying and why we might want it and how it is normally done. Listened thoughtfully as we explained how a Baha'i Burial and Funeral is "normally" done and asked appropriate questions. Simply told us our estimated expenses so far and noted that "You can keep that in mind if you like when looking at caskets."

Shopping for caskets and vaults (the concrete or metal box that surrounds the casket in the ground) was interesting. We ended up choosing a simple but elegant casket in Pecan (a lovely wood and my dad did love a good pecan pie). I was really tempted to ask if they used sustainable forestry practices but I was told I shouldn't. My brother and I were talking about asking for Pine as we figured that as Pallbearers it would be a little lighter. (Balsawood might create a bit too much drama if the bottom fell out ;) ) My brother also said Dad would really like the Scarlet and Grey "Brutus" version designed specifically for Ohio State fans.

I'm strongly lobbying for playing the Script Ohio marching band song (an Ohio State Marching Band tradition) when we bring the casket to the grave but Mom thinks it would be silly. I think it would be joyous, and the song always brought a happy tear to Dad's eye (no really!), I think it would be appropriate.

I understand that the Imperial March from Star Wars might be a bit too much, and border on silly, but I really wish we could do this. But it's more my Mom's day than mine.

Anyways, I have paperwork to do and lists to make.


Funeral services will be held at the Schoedinger Worthington Chapel, 6699 North High Street, Worthington, Ohio. Visitation will be from 9:00 - 10:00 a.m. and the service will take place from 10:00 - 11:00 a.m. There will be a procession from the funeral home to the Blendon Central Cemetery on the corner of Dempsey and Spring roads in Westerville. Following the internment a reception (approx. 1:00 p.m.) will be held at the Johnston Homestead at 164 Linabary Avenue, Westerville, Ohio.

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Amazing Post by an Female Baha'i Judge

Inspirational!
First Women: Dorothy W. Nelson
Submitted by Judge Dorothy Nelson on 6 February 2007 - 3:13pm.



It is an honor to participate in the “First Women Lawyers” series of Ms. JD. I am particularly happy to do so in the company of Professor Barbara Babcock, one of the most admired and distinguished members of our profession. She is a marvelous mentor to her female law students, many of whom I have hired as my law clerks.

Like Professor Babcock, I was the first woman faculty member of the law school that hired me-the University of Southern California. At that time (1957), I decided to insert into the curriculum something that had not been taught but was part of my deeply held beliefs. This was contrary to the advice of my friends on the faculty who advised that as the first woman on the faculty, I shouldn’t “rock the boat”. Nonetheless, I noted that everyone on the faculty appeared to accept the “adversary system” as a given and no courses or materials were offered in the field of alternative dispute resolution. As a member of the Bahá’í Faith, I believe in the process of consultation to resolve conflicts peacefully. I inserted materials on mediation, the closest thing to consultation, in my seminar on the administration of justice. One day at a faculty meeting, I overheard a faculty member say to another, just what is this thing called mediation that Dorothy is teaching in her seminar? The response was: “Oh, it’s a woman’s thing. She is trying to get everyone to love each other”. Well, it gives me the greatest pleasure to say that alternative dispute resolution (particularly mediation) is one of the hottest topics in the justice system today.

When I became the first woman dean, one of the senior faculty members called me into his office and advised me to arrive at the next faculty meeting 15 minutes late to show the faculty who was boss. Instead, I rushed home and baked 5 dozen chocolate cookies and arrived 15 minutes early to greet everyone. I also announced that we would have food at all faculty meetings henceforth. I have always found that in meetings and in crisis situations, food brings people closer together and improves communication immeasurably.

These two small examples reflect what I think is important to remember as a woman. While men and women must achieve full equality with respect to education, employment, salaries, and advancement opportunities, men and women have some distinct attributes which must be present if we are to have a just and peaceful society. In the Bahá’í Writings it is stated that men and women are like the two wings of a bird-the one is male and the other is female. Unless they are both strong the bird cannot fly heavenwards. However, you cannot take the left wing of a bird and put it in the right socket. The wings although equal have different qualities.

Why are so many women opting out of the legal profession? One answer may be that women have tried to conform to a male model which values long hours and neglect of family in pursuit of material wealth. One of my favorite stories is that of one of my first woman clerks. She was brilliant, highly motivated, a superb writer and researcher with an impeccable resume. She went to work for a major law firm after clerking for me. She called to tell me that she was pregnant, but had told the law firm that she had already hired a nanny and would be at work the day after the baby was born. The day after the baby was born, she called me from the hospital and said: “Judge, I’ve got a problem.” I said, “I know what it is. You don’t want to go back to work right away.” She agreed. I told her to call the law firm and ask for three months leave. She did and the leave was granted.

Two months later she called and said: “Judge, I have a problem”. I replied that I knew what it was. She wasn’t ready to go back to work full time. I told her to decide just how many hours she would like to work and ask the law firm to let her remain on a part-time basis. She worried that she wouldn’t make partner as soon as her contemporaries. My reply was to ask her if that was her purpose in life - to make partner as soon as her peers. She did call the law firm and the request was granted. However, three months later, the senior partner of the law firm called me and said: “Judge, what are you doing to my law firm? Three young male associates who had families said they had been observing my former clerk and like her wanted to spend more time with their families. They knew they wouldn’t make partner as soon but they decided their families were more important. I said to the senior partner that I thought it was wonderful that they were making this decision, especially considering that fact that the local bar association was spending close to $200,000 a year offering counseling to young associates who had drug and marital problems. The senior partner agreed and the environment of the entire law firm has changed. Thus, women lawyers have much to offer in improving the lawyers’ workplace.

Laws and practices need to be radically different from what we are accustomed to now in all aspect including parental leave times, flexibility in schedules, “interrupting” careers for raising children, perhaps employment type benefits for parents who are engaged in full time rasing of children (such as social security, health insurance and disability coverage). Society should act as if it seriously cared about child-rearing and should accept responsibility for these endeavors.

Carol Gilligan’s work in the book “A Different Voice” suggests that women invoke an “ethic of care”, and are concerned with preserving relationships and with the context of problems. Men, in contrast, invoke an “ethic of rights” on abstract notions of right and wrong and on objective rationality. This may be one reason why women have been playing such a role in alternative dispute resolution. The adversary system with its win-lose philosophy is, in the words of former Chief Justice Warren Burger, “too costly, too painful, too inefficient and too destructive for a truly civilized society. The movement is toward more appropriate forms of dispute resolution such as mediation where parties voluntarily and confidentially try to reach their own solutions with the help of an impartial neutral. Here the qualities of mental alertness, intuition, and the spiritual qualities of love and service, in which women are strong are gaining ascendency.

When I was meeting with the All China Women’s Federation in Beijing for the first time in l989 and discussing many of these issues, my husband (a retired Superior Court judge) asked for permission to speak. The women were delighted for men had never participated in their discussions. My husband stated that until women achieve full equality, men can never be the best of what they can be. After thunderous applause, the President of the Federation ran down the hall and returned with a gift of lacquered boxes for him. As we left, in gestures uncharacteristic for Chinese women, they patted him on the back as he went by and called out in Chinese, “model husband. model husband”.

As Professor Babcock wrote, the male-created and male centered model is under an unprecedented attack. Like her, I believe that the scene is set for revolutionary change-but not just for women but for all of mankind as well.

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Temptation, Restraint, and Self-Control

It seems to me as if the idea of freeing oneself of attachment--through restraint, moderation, self-control and avoidance of temption, and, in doing so, living a life in a state of peace and meditation was really one of the central messages taught by Buddha. (although I'll be the first to admit I don't know nearly enough about Buddhism to warrent my claiming to know its teachings well.)

These themes, however, went along well (in my head anyways) with what I was saying in my post about Dieting and Religion, so I thought I might include some Buddhist quotes on the subject:

"The Tempter masters the lazy and irresolute man who dwells on the attractive side of things, ungoverned in his senses, and unrestrained in his food, like the wind overcomes a rotten tree.

But the Tempter cannot master a man who dwells on the distasteful side of things, self- controlled in his senses, moderate in eating, resolute and full of faith, like the wind cannot move a mountain crag."

"In the same way that rain breaks into a house with a bad roof, desire breaks into the mind that has not been practising meditation.

While in the same way that rain cannot break into a well-roofed house, desire cannot break into a mind that has been practising meditation well."

"Things which are wrong and to one's own disadvantage are easily enough done, while what is both good and advantageous is extremely hard to do."

"Guard against physical unruliness. Be restrained in body. Abandoning physical wrong doing, lead a life of physical well doing.

Guard against mental unruliness. Be restrained in mind. Abandoning mental wrong doing, lead a life of mental well doing.

Guard against verbal unruliness. Be restrained in speech. Abandoning verbal wrong doing, lead a life of verbal well doing.

The wise who are restrained in body, speech and mind - such are the well and truly restrained."

All from: ~Dhammapada - Sayings of the Buddha (Translated by J. Richards)

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Truth and Justice

Stephanie Dornbrook often includes in her posts the names or lyrics of songs that pop into her head and won't come out...I currently have some lyrics on loop that are from a song of my parents generation. It's particularly frustrating as I cannot for the life of me come up with more than the single line: "Because it's eeeea-sier, easier said than done." There is a little more tinkling of melody before and after, but no other lines, and I wonder if it's because that's the only line that relates to what I've been thinking/feeling lately.

I had a rather sleepless night the other night with thoughts running through my mind and a mix of emotions making my stomach upset. It had been a long time since I've had this kind of night.

So with an extra 8 hours or so to kill while I wasn't sleeping, I did some cleaning, uploaded music and photos to my computer, drank some chamomile tea, did some reading, some praying, some meditating, and finally when all other diversionary tactics failed, I did some thinking.

I was thinking about a number of things, but I'm not sharing them all with you, which is interesting, because one of the main subjects I was thinking about was truthfulness, and whether withholding information, or thoughts is still truly honest, and if one must say something, how to find the right words to say.

My desire to work on being completely truthful lately has been straightforward in many aspects of my life, but has come upon a bit of a stumbling block in that I occasionally find myself at a loss as to how I can be honest and truthful and yet still speak in a loving and kind way and in a way that will not "burden the hearer" ...and I've been wondering whether it is better to be honest in ALL cases even if the truth won't make someone any happier, could make them sadder, or couldn't lead to a better outcome for anyone involved. These thoughts are also wrapped up with my own ideas about justice and fairness.

It seems to me that oftentimes humans are almost self-destructive in their desire for fairness/justice. I was reading something lately that talked about the change that our brains go through psychologically and physiologically around the age of eleven. Prior to that age our games and play were built around imagination and interaction usually is focused on "fun", but around that age the way a child plays begins to change and the focus of games become rules and fairness, and in watching children play they may spend up to half the time establishing and enforcing rules. It is our tendency to try to find logic in our world and fairness and justice help us make the world make sense. But how often is that search for justice the cause of much unhappiness and turmoil!

Now let's think about our desire for truth, and our desire for justice. Let's say for instance that you order something and it is delayed. Would you rather hear the truth: that someone screwed up entering something into a computer screen in the shipping department and as a result it won't go out until next weekend, or would you rather be told that the piece you ordered was unfortunately damaged in shipping and that the company is working hard to be able to rush a new piece out so that you can get it by next weekend. Now imagine you won't be compensated in any way (or at least any way significant to you) for the delay, regardless of who is at fault. Would you rather think it an unfortunate accident, or human error?

I've found most people feel they need to know WHY something has happened, but they accept a situation more readily if they believe it is just luck, or fate, or randomness, then if they believe something for which they could blame someone or find fault in a person or system. They feel that justice must demand compensation for an avoidable situation, but an unavoidable "accident" finds its balance despite a lack of any external compensation. We can resign ourselves to the bumps in the road of life as long as we can't find someone to blame for them.

"Let truthfulness and courtesy be your adorning" - Baha'u'llah
"Lay not on any soul a load which ye would not wish to be laid upon you, and desire not for any one the things ye would not desire for yourselves." (Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 128)
"Beware lest ye offend the feelings of anyone, or sadden the heart of any person, or move the tongue in reproach of and finding fault with anybody, whether he is friend or stranger, believer or enemy"(Abdu'l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu'l-Baha v1, p. 44)
"Never is it the wish of 'Abdu'l-Bahá to see any being hurt, nor will He make anyone to grieve; for man can receive no greater gift than this, that he rejoice another's heart. I beg of God that ye will be bringers of joy, even as are the angels in Heaven." (Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, sec. 174, pp. 203-204)


So when absolute honesty would be hurtful and silence is not an option, how do we find the balance, faith and direction to walk the invisible tightrope? Yup, as the song says... "It's easier said than done"

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Diets & Religion

So some who have been around me already know that I've been on a pretty strict diet. It is based on numerous studies showing, time and time again, evidence that a diet with little to no animal products, a high level of green vegetables and legumes, and a limited amounts of whole grains and nuts will lead to a healthier, longer life with less likelihood of cancer or heart disease. For the first six weeks it does not allow for any animal products at all, and allows only foods with little-to-no added fat, sugar or salt.

Now that I've been embracing this diet, what I find interesting is the many correlations I've been finding between diet and religion.

I started thinking about desires, about the things we want regardless of the knowledge that they may be bad for us physically or spiritually. My religion prohibits drinking alcohol and I'm often asked, "Aren't you ever tempted?" (people always emphasize that word when they ask, perhaps because they believe it might be an offensive question), but I can honestly reply that "No, I've never really been tempted to drink alcohol". But over and over I've heard people say "Oh, I don't think I could ever be a Baha'i, because I just don't think I could give up alcohol." or they couldn't give up this, or that, or some other thing. I, personally, never really thought of drinking as an option, I always thought of it as "just something I don't do" and I never really questioned or was tempted to break that particular prohibition. But certainly there are other things within my religion with which I have not been so resolute. There are plenty of my beliefs and Baha'i laws that I have broken, sometimes with thought, sometimes without. When those things come up perhaps my will is not so strong, and my resolve melts between a mixture of beliefs of "what is good for me? What is best for me? What will make me happiest?" My faith is shaken by a confusion of selfish desires. I desire what will make me happiest (usually for the moment) and I question whether following the beliefs and teachings will lead me there now or ever.

So back to the diet, and my love of chocolate and cheese...
Q: Do I truly believe these prohibited foods are good for me?
A: No
Q: Do I still desire them?
A: Yes, but * (I'll get back to you on this one)
Q: Would I rather live a longer, healthier life?
A: Yes
Q: Is momentary pleasure or happiness better than living a longer, healthier life?
A: Hmmmm.....

So back to religion...
Q: The things that are prohibited, are they good for me?
A: No
Q: Do I still desire them?
A: Yes, but *
Q: Would I rather live a deeper, more spiritually healthy life?
A: Yes
Q: Is momentary pleasure or happiness better than living a more spiritually healthy life?
A: Hmmmm.....


When I first looked at this diet I thought it was far too strict for me to be able to manage. I've been vegetarian for years, but have always said "I could never be vegan, I'm far too in love with cheese". But nonetheless I have been feeling more and more uneasy over the past few years as I read about the dairy/veal industry and about the levels of saturated fats and hormones in cheeses. I'm also a big fan of chocolate, of pasta, of sugary desserts, and of quick and easy foods (mmm...Easy Mac!). So as I read this book and recognized that even being vegetarian I'm increasing my risks of developing cancer and heart disease simply because of my high dairy/cheese intake and other poor food choices, I felt my resolve to at least try this diet increase page by page. And the promise that I could eat AS MUCH fruits and vegetables as I wanted and never be hungry and still have the pounds just drop off was very tempting, but I wasn't sure it would overcome my desires for all the foods that I love.

So as I began the diet I yearned for things. I craved cheese. I craved chocolate. I craved caffeine and bread and pasta and butter. But I didn't eat them. I told myself that I just had to stick too it and wait to see the results, or I would never know. The arguments for better health remained in my head.

There is a concept often spoken of in religion which we usually term "attatchment" which is very similar to the idea of addiction. We talk about being overly "attached" to the things of this physical world. They can be things like food or comfort, money, possessions, or our habits and lifestyle. But these attachments are often the things that keep us from being able to develop our spiritual virtues. Greed keeps us from compassion, generosity and selflessness. Our love of our position in life may keep us from humility and loving kindness. Our love of our daily habits and routines may keep us from being able to attend new events and grow in new directions.

Americans in general are addicted to bad foods. We are COMFORTABLE and ATTACHED to the foods, the flavors, the textures, the restaurants, the lifestyle and the time we spend eating. We can't imaging a celebration, a loss, a meeting, a date, or even a death without it relating to food. We are resistant to change. Most of us will deny this attachment and will deny proofs of the unhealthiness of our choices not because of the lack of clear evidence, but because we do not WANT to believe it because it would mean we would have to give up so many things we are so attached to or be forced into admitting that we are deliberately doing harm to ourselves.

In similar manner, we sometimes try to fool ourselves by only choosing to accept beliefs that will suit our lifestyle rather than really looking for the truth and then doing what is truly best for the health and growth of our soul. I saw a good analogy someone posted on MySpace to another person who was stating how hard it was when he became a Baha'i to be around people who were out drinking and partying every weekend without him now:

"That's the problem with planting a seed. In order for that seed to grow, it has to completely shed its old form. The seed has to break apart and cease to exist, in what metaphorically can be a painful transformation of giving up parts of its old existence. But the beauty is that as the seed is watered by God's living waters as you put it, a new plant emerges that is capable of producing such wonderful fruits. It's the same seed/plant essentially, just in a new form that has always potentially been within just waiting for the right stimulus. Be patient, you will at some point start to see the growth within yourself, if you haven't already!"
~Shoshona on Myspace

Now the other thing to take into account is the effect that a diet, or living a life as prescribed by God will have on our body or our soul and in a transformation into a truly different person. Although I hate the expression of being "born again" (because it seems to absolve any previous transgressions and to indicate an instantaneous change) the concept of changing into someone new, and fresh, with new goals and desires is a very real thing that many people go through in their lives by many different means. It may be law school, or army boot camp, or a spiritual awakening, or taking on a new diet and exercise regime, but people do dramatically change their character and change into a person with different goals and desires and outlooks than their previous selves would have had.

Back to our questions earlier:
Q: Do I truly believe they are good for me?
A: No
Q: Do I still desire them?
A: Yes, but *

*Yes, but with knowledge about their effect on my well being and time spent away from them I find I'm less attached.

So the first real realization I notice from this diet is that only AFTER I've changed my behavior can I appreciate the results. You could TELL me that I would look better and feel better and that my desires for these foods would decrease, but I could not foresee the internal changes and not anticipate the feeling I would have afterwards. I did not know the person I would become.

But the second realization is that the results were not my motivator for change, my BELIEF in living a healthier life is what truly motivated the change, and only after a month of dieting can I really appreciate some of the feelings and results of this change and my resolve to stay along the same path has increased as I tread it. The same I think is true of living a life more in accordance with your spiritual beliefs. The results of "living the life" one believes in cannot be quantified and described externally, they generally are something about which only experience speaks most clearly and directly . They also do not generally come as a result of yearning for the, many times unknown or unexpected, end results but rather from the knowledge and belief that the things prescribed are the things that are best for the health of your soul, and as you follow the laws and strive and work towards exemplifying your beliefs it becomes far more clear that this is the right path to be taking.

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Oh, and for any who are curiousI've lost 16lbs in one month so far on the diet from "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman.

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Communication: rules, laws, and frame

I've been having an interesting discussion with someone in regards to spirituality, religion and religious laws. It got me really thinking about the analogies of other things that are governed by laws and rules and how those rules can be bent, broken, or used, and to what effect. Here is a bit of that conversation...

p-I'm saying that religion is a tool to access spirituality...

v-I have a slightly different view on this, but okay....

p-Really, what's your view? Less utilitarian?"

v-Well, as I believe religion was sent, through Messengers, by God, I don't think it is merely a tool to access spirituality--that is just something it occasionally accomplishes. Although it may act to that effect, just as the Gov't may be "said" to be a tool for social justice--it may or may not work that way, but that is not its OVERALL purpose, it is just one aspect at which it may help achieve. As an individual it is easy to look at the gov't and say that its role in YOUR life is to help ensure some sort of rights and justice FOR you, but the gov't itself is not simply for that purpose. Similarly, religion ultimately has larger goals, much broader than the scope of an individual and their spiritual growth. The individuals, and their spiritual growth ultimately are necessary for a religion to succeed, (much as a gov't needs some sense of justice, or it is likely to be overthrown). And certainly individuals may USE it for that purpose alone and not feel a part of anything greater, but I personally wouldn't define religion by that one aspect alone.

p- "I have this piano teacher who, when I think about her attitudes towards the music, I think I would never want to play like her. So conservative and rigid. She really sticks to the rules, when I'm more interested in how I can break them, usually before I've even learned them. But, somehow she brings out things in me and gets me to think about things in a new way, and I come up with possibilities for interpretation (and misinterpretation) that neither she nor I would have likely come up with on our own."

v- I'm an artist. Trust me, I know how much inspiration comes from having rules and breaking them... and I'm constantly trying to break the law of Gravity. But don't you think you sometimes have to really know the rules in order to know which ones you can bend/break, or how far? Scientists learn the laws of Gravity so they can learn how to escape or exceed its pull. Learning to play music properly makes you capable of learning to break rules with finesse, and without ending up with 5 band members all doing solos at different tempos at the same time. (However, I maintain the rights to cowbell solos whenever so motivated).

In dance there is a frame that allows lead-follow without brute force, it is a medium for communication between the two dancers, but in essence it is a set of rules--don't allow your elbows to break this plane, offer resistance in this direction, continue movement until "told" not to... And certainly rules can be broken, but in breaking frame you are ceasing to communicate and simply talking without listening to your partner. The joy comes when you are so well trained in the rules that you no longer have to think about them, and communication is easy and free between the partners, listening to the music, with no focus on the rules, only on the communication. I'm sure it's the same feeling as REALLY connecting while playing music, or singing, or playing sports...all of which require a set of rules to be followed in order to really enjoy the interaction.

I guess the thing I'm getting at is that there is a certain growth and spirituality that comes from following the rules set out by religion, and perhaps once comfortable with those rules we get to a point where we no longer have to think about them, and perhaps they help us become able to communicate with God better, in the same way that the rules of sports allow us to enjoy the game, and the rules of music or of dance allow us to communicate with other dancers or musicians better. Perhaps in failing to follow those rules we have a harder time hearing or listening to our "lead" ? Does that make any sense?

Blink III (The final post)

Although Malcolm Gladwell left off at this point and did not really go into more ways in which we can use the power of "thin-slicing" as he calls the quick, unconscious analysis that often proves more accurate than conscious analytic thought, I continued thinking about it. If reading about Martin Luther King before taking a Race IAT has an effect, how many other things we do have an effect (positive or negative)? I thought about how the idea of "Experience Building" activities form our unconscious and how in this regard every piece of information we see and read and absorb is just like the old adage of "you are what you eat" except it would be what you see, or do, or experience...And thinking that perhaps we should be that much more careful about what we're feeding ourselves.

Obviously I'm not out reading vicious hateful things, but what AM I reading? And I'm not out purposefully looking to experience the type of things that would make me think poorly of other races, religions, or groups of people or doing things to promote prejudice & bias. But what experiences, and what books, and what things am I doing that counteract all of the things I inadvertently experience, and see, and hear, and learn that might be counter to what my conscious mind would believe?

Other "Blink" studies showed how thinking of being a professor for 10 minutes before an academic test actually improved scores, and for African American students answering questions about race reduced them. Many studies have shown that "thinking smart" and being in the right mood or mindset can effect behavior and abilities: just like how priming a student to be patient had them waiting 10 minutes for test results How could I put myself in the right "mindset" everyday while counteracting negative or false biases set in my subconscious?

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So in thinking about these things I came to an idea...not a conclusion, or necessarily a course of action...just an idea. I came to think about the many discussions I have had with many people over the course of many years about religion: organized religion, disorganized religion, belief in God, belief in Spirituality, and Atheism. Although most the atheists I've known have simply said they don't believe in religion because they don't believe in God, every other conversation has had to do with why people believe what they believe and why they DON'T believe in something else.

But this is my idea: based on all the evidence shown in "Blink" about Priming, thin-slicing, and rapid cognition, there is value to religion or at least religious activities whether you believe in the Prophet's social teachings or not. Most religions are based on simple, basic, and often universal spiritual laws which encompass living an "ethical" or "moral" life. The core value of "do unto others..." is present in almost all religions, as are beliefs about living a virtuous, humble, loving, kind, and generous life. Most religions believe in daily prayer, meditation, and reading of the holy book of that religion as well as outside activities to promote a better society. IF you then apply the concept of priming and of "experience building", you would figure that a person who daily reads (priming) about virtue and morals and treating others kindly and spends time acting on those beliefs (experience building) while involved in their religion's community, they would be led to act and behave in a way that is more in tune with their conscious ethics & beliefs. They would have had more experiences of the behaviors associated with the positive beliefs, and would have more primed bias towards thinking in a loving, kind, humble and generous manner after reading their religious writings each day than someone with the same basic ethical beliefs but without the daily ritual practice of these beliefs.

Just a thought....a very long thought, but it was quite interesting to me.

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Persecution of Baha'is

Yesterday I read Elizabeth's blog, and she linked to an article about privilege, asking people to be more aware and comment on the privileges they receive for being who they are/where they are/when they are:

I am privileged to live in a time and place where practicing my religion is not a cause for fear of prosecution or severe prejudice by my government, my friends, or society as a whole.

Unfortunately, even today this is not true in all parts of the world...

54 BAHA'IS ARRESTED IN IRAN

NEW YORK, 24 May 2006 (BWNS) -- Iranian officials have arrested 54 Baha'is
in the city of Shiraz, the Baha'i International Community has learned. They
are mostly youth and were all engaged in humanitarian service when they were
arrested. It is one of the largest number of Baha'is taken at once since
the 1980s. The specific charges are not clear, though in the past, Baha'is
have been arrested summarily on false charges.

The arrests occurred on Friday, 19 May, while the Baha'is, along with
several other volunteers who were not Baha'is, were teaching classes to
underprivileged children in a school as part of a UNICEF community service
activity conducted by a local non-governmental organization. At the time of
the arrests, they had in their possession a letter of permission from the
Islamic Council of Shiraz. They also carried the letter of permission in
each of their classes.

The nature of the charges against the Baha'is is unknown at this time. The
day following the arrests, a judge told family members that the detainees
would be freed soon. As of today, it appears that all of the non-Baha'is and
one Baha'i junior youth have been released without having to post bail.

The arrests coincided with raids on six Baha'i homes during which notebooks,
computers, books, and other documents were confiscated. In the last 14
months, 72 Baha'is across Iran have been arrested and held for up to several
weeks.

"These new arrests in Shiraz, coming after more than a year of 'revolving
door' detentions, bring the total number of Baha'is who have been arrested
without cause to more than 125 since the beginning of 2005," said Bani
Dugal, principal representative of the Baha'i International Community to the
United Nations.

"Taken all together, this pattern of arbitrary arrests and detentions amount
to the purest form of religious persecution and reflect nothing less than a
calculated effort by the Iranian government to keep the Baha'i community
utterly off balance and in a state of terror,"
Ms. Dugal said.

The arrests come against a backdrop of increasing concern by international
human rights monitors that the Iranian Government is escalating its
25-year-long campaign of persecution against the 300,000-member Baha'i
community of Iran, the largest religious minority in that country.

In March, the UN Special Rapporteur of the Commission on Human Rights on
freedom of religion or belief released news of a secret 29 October 2005
letter from the Iranian military high command ordering police and
Revolutionary Guard units to "identify" and "monitor" members of the Baha'i
community of Iran, saying the existence of such a letter made her "highly
concerned."

Moreover, since late 2005, more than 30 mostly negative and often defamatory
articles about the Baha'is and their religion have appeared in "Kayhan," the
official Tehran daily newspaper. Radio and television broadcasts have
likewise increasingly condemned the Baha'is and their beliefs.

Since January, in addition to the 54 arrested in Shiraz last Friday, seven
Baha'is have been arrested and held for periods of up to one month in
Kermanshah, Isfahan, and Tehran.

Among those arrested in January was Mrs. Roya Habibi of Kermanshah, who has
reported that she was interrogated for eight hours, with questions focused
on her role as coordinator of a program to provide religious instruction in
the Baha'i Faith.

In the court document that sets out the charges against her, Mrs. Habibi,
who is currently out on bail, "is charged with teaching the Bahaism sect and
acting in an insulting manner towards all that is holy in Islam."

"While it is often difficult to get details on the charges against Baha'is,
there is no doubt that most of them -- like the case against Mrs. Habibi --
are motivated purely by religious intolerance and prejudice," said Ms.
Dugal.

Last year, some 65 Baha'is were arrested and held for periods of time
ranging from a few days to more than a month.

While most were held less than a week, others were jailed for up to three
months. Some of the prisoners last year were held incommunicado, in unknown
locations, while their families desperately searched for them. Last year
also, government agents conducted prolonged searches of many of their homes,
confiscating documents, books, computers, copiers and other belongings.

In the 1980s, some 200 Baha'is were killed or executed. Thousands were
arrested and hundreds were imprisoned, many for long periods. In recent
years, in the face of international monitoring, the executions and long-term
imprisonments have stopped.

For more information go to: http://www.bahai.org/persecution/iran

hmmm

A quote I ran across today:

Abdu'l-Baha teaches that we must never "belittle the thought of another" (Baha'i Administration, p. 22)

note to self: work on that one