IKEA

Dear People who want to shop at IKEA alone (for need or sanity), You can do it! So long as you don't buy anything you can't lift on your own or put in/on your car solo you're fine. First- Park near the end of the store with Returns. Then SHOP! Load all of your belongings on whatever carts or trolleys you can push. Then pay for your items. Next take your items towards the exit where people doing returns enter. Flag down someone who works there (really anyone will do.) Tell them you need someone to watch your purchases while you fetch your car. Finally fetch your car, go retrieve your purchases from wherever they put them and load up! Congratulations, you shopped IKEA without having to bring the circus, consult with others, or talk someone out of buying another Billy bookcase or CD organizer. Go you!

What a difference a day makes...

Last Tuesday. January 26th. Not a holiday, not an anniversary, not a particularly important day in any way. And yet... January 26th was a wonderful day for me. A turning point. The kind of day that inspires multiple short and incomplete sentences to flow forth from my pen (keyboard). I'm happy I had January 26th.

The day was a wonderful balance of good and bad luck and a constant stream of activity.

I don't know if I've spoken of my car problems here but they have been plentiful of late. A month or so ago I spent over $700 in one day when my car died and I found out I needed an electrical diagnostic, a new battery, new front brake pads & rotors, and a section of my exhaust replaced just to be able to continue driving. But what hurt me even more was knowing the repairs yet to come. You see in the state of Illinois you must pass an emissions check every two years to be able to get your license plates renewed. And if your Check Engine light is on you can not even begin the emissions check. And two years ago my Check Engine light was on because of a faulty O2 sensor (that I had paid $140 to diagnose and $430 to repair and had broken again after 40 miles), but I managed to go for my emissions check on a day the sensor was working and the Check Engine light was not lit. Then, seven months later the light had come on again along with another indicator light while I was on my way to my grandmother's funeral. I took it to another dealership in Ohio whom ran the diagnostic for just $45 and told me that it was the O2 sensor and a Transmission Position Sensor but that it should still be safe to continue driving it.

So long story short my engine light has been on and I knew that with my plates expiring January 31st I had to either pay for the $145 diagnostic and hope the light stayed off long enough for me to get to the e-check, or actually have the (likely incredibly expensive) repairs done. I was loathe to do this, especially since the car has a handful of other problems (hood latch broken~ $245, headlight and license plate lights out ~$50-90, antennae broken off ~$200, dash lights burnt out $???, and then, Christmas day, the driver's door lock broke ~$???OUCH)

So with all these problems I was seriously considering just selling my car, hoping to get $2000 for it and then buying a used Honda at around $4000. Of course this would be seriously dipping into my savings and since the pay cut at work at Thanksgiving and with me looking for a new job, it's not the best time to be savings-free. But I felt cornered.

Then... Monday night, for the first time in 8 months, I started my car and the check engine light did NOT come on!

Miracle!

So Tuesday morning I got ready to go to the emissions check. There was a large pile of items for charity that had been lingering in my living room for a few weeks and since I knew my favorite Salvation Army was near the testing site I loaded up my trunk. I got in my car and was happy to see the indicator still did not light up. I went and passed my echeck. I drove over and dropped things off at the Salvation Army, then stopped inside and picked up a dark brown jacket to match my new dress slacks (see previous shopping post). Then I stopped at a bagel spot for lunch.

While munching on my tasty 7 Cheese bagel I suddenly felt a CRUNCH as if biting into something hard. I chewed the rest of the bite slowly, trying to figure out what it was but did not find anything. Then I felt the roughness on one cheek, and sure enough, as my tongue went to explore I found a large pointy area where part of one tooth had been. I went to the bathroom and saw that a quarter or more of one of my molars had broken off. As I touched the tooth I felt pain and knew I was going to have to get it fixed. I called my co-worker and asked for the number of his dentist boyfriend. Thankfully the dentist said they would squeeze me in at 5:30. I rushed home, changed clothes and headed to my next appointment.

At 2:40 I arrived at the Bronzeville Lighthouse Charter School, where I will be reading buddies with two children each Tuesday this semester through a program through Open Books Literacy Program.

I arrived early for my dental appointment and knit for a while in my car and then went and had a Jimmy John's Sub and asked where the nearest Currency Exchange was.

At 5:30 I had my dental appointment, had my tooth fixed up and departed at 6:00 with a fixed mouth and $105 less money.

I drove a mile down the road to the nearest Currency Exchange and at 6:20 I purchased new registration for my car for $104.50

At 6:45 I arrived for my knitting group at Ipsento Cafe and for two hours or so enjoyed myself as I chatted and caught up with my knitting friends and newly pregnant doppelganger Sarah.

At 9:00 I went to Pint to hang with all of my favorite musician friends at their weekly Open Mic Night, helping Morgan celebrate his one year anniversary of hosting. I hung out chatting after with some of the musicians.

At 2:00AM I arrived home, feeling overjoyed at the productivity and fun of my day.

I have not had a day so wonderfully fulfilling and productive in ages. I have been feeling anti-social and overwhelmed. This day honestly did more to fill me with hope than a handful of peptalks or affirmations from every person I know could ever have. I now feel as if I CAN get things done, and will take care of more things that have been weighing me down.

Inertia. It's stronger than I ever imagined. May its force be with you.

Torn Between two Books- Planning Nano 2008

So, um, I think too much. It's true, I've admitted it many a time. And yet I try to avoid it, I try to just lighten up and keep things from being bogged down from over-analysis. So I'm kind of torn on what I want to write for my novel this year. I have one idea and many different ways to see it through and, knowing I tend towards the most complicated of options I'm tempted to go the light and fluffy route, but haven't made my decision yet.

Here it is. My original idea, as written by me in August:

I'm thinking of writing a "Wildly Untrue Autobiography"

"Untrue Facts" about my life:
- I was born on a small island the same day as the last of a rare species of birds was last sighted.
- I had five brothers and sisters but most of them were lost (no, not died, just lost) along the way
- I won't eat anything blue
- I had phenomenal mathematical skills until one day I decided math was untrue.
- I taught my parents how to swim
- I accidentally put out a death warrant on the love of my life
- I inspired someone famous to change careers
- I trained a goat
- I talked to an elephant
- I survived a deadly spider bite

Now it is several months later and my idea for an auto-biography (or biography) has changed. I'm now thinking of all sorts of other more complicated (of course) options.

Here are my current notes:

"A Fabulously Untrue Auto-Biography"

Main Idea:

MC leads fabulous life dealing with all sorts of interesting people and possibly influencing history
-what do they learn from all this? Do we learn to love them? Hate them? Envy them? Pity them?
-What tells us that it is untrue? perhaps they are a little "not right in the head" and this is what makes it all untrue? (great possibilities for fuzzy transitions between reality and fiction)



Life line Possibilities:

RipVanWinkle approach of waking up every Century or so to experience various events

Time Travel--mechanical, natural, unknown, alien technology? allows forward and back (quantum leap)

Start at one point and Proceed around the world until conclusion is at same point-
-perhaps walking the entire way?
-perhaps companions join for portions
-perhaps certain fixed amount of time allowed in each place
-who would have imposed this rule? (granted wish to travel for 100 years but this was price?)

Reincarnation/Possession--perhaps lives "through" several people's lives?

Different type of linear progression...
-trapped by memories- when one even relates to another they suddenly find themselves in a different day/time/person/lifetime and can only live through the event until they again will transfer upon a new relationship--kind of trying everything until they get it right? Kind of like Time Traveller's Wife but with other people/lifetimes

It's crazy to me that these all could, realistically, lead to good novels...they're all viable options, and I have to choose JUST ONE!

(It's also crazy to me that in some way, shape or form Anne Rice has seemingly written novels that would cover about 80% of the ideas I came up with. I would say that I've just read too many of her novels and am influenced, but I think actually she has just really covered all the bases quite well.)

NaNo --My Planning Philosophy

I know some people believe in thoroughly planning a novel before they write it--I'm not one of them. I prefer the "Choose Your Own Adventure" where perhaps you've read a couple of the pages, know of a few events that will happen, possibly an endpoint you'd like to reach, and you might even know bits of the character or characters involved

I hold that until you've actually written a character and let them act things out, given voice to things, and let "them" make decisions you don't REALLY know them, even if you think you do. In fact, I feel it would be counter-productive to "know" your character before you write them. Imagine trying to write a novel using Yoda, Mr.Spock, Elmo, and Ms.Piggy. They are all characters that you probably feel you know, but outside of a couple of funny lines of dialog and gross over characterizations (I believe this is the literary equivalent of over acting) you would probably fall flat after a few pages, or perhaps a chapter. First of all because you're not working with your own characters, but secondly because you DON'T really know these characters as well as you think (although my brother may have dissected enough Star Wars to argue with me on his knowledge and ability to write Yoda).

I think there is an apt analogy in my art training. As part of my 1st and 2nd year drawing classes in college I was asked to copy "Master Works" and to break down their design, their eye movement patterns, and their value (light/dark) schemes. We had to do sketches where we only drew the darkest elements and the mid tone elements as blurry forms. We did drawings of only the brightest colors and the lightest values. It was only when I did this that I really grew to appreciate a few of the artists. I could look at their work and enjoy it, but I had no idea that hidden within there were great design elements drawing the eye in and directing it. I had no idea that most of my favorite works of art were highly balanced works of design. Their internal architecture was magnificent. So now I knew right? I had dissected the master and I could use their techniques? Well, using this knowledge we were asked to do drawings using similar design schemes and I found it quite impossible. How could I replace one of Winslow Homer's sailboats with anything but? I could imitate the lighting perhaps, or the triangulation of elements based on the dimensions of the canvas and how the elements would align in space, I could evoke the tone of peacefulness or tumult, but I could not change elements without ruining the balance. In like regard one can enjoy a book, a character, a scene and never really SEE the elements in it. You may not notice allegory, alliteration, the way the author held back on that vital piece of information until just the right point, the way the author led you in one direction in order that you may feel how dramatic the shift to the other direction really is or would be. Unless you have dissected, re-written, copied, and delved fully into all the hows and whys, how can you really KNOW the characters, or the writing style, or the foundational beauty of the piece...And even when you DO know and appreciate and understand, you can't duplicate it without simply copying their work.

So I'm not saying we should dissect the character of Spock so that we can put him into our novel. But if we REALLY wanted to put Spock in, certainly we must undertake that step or our characterization will feel flat and one dimensional. But then we must expect that as soon as we add new situations, new relationships, and as soon as we use OUR voice to write Spock's voice, there will be change, he will be different....And that's okay, but we need to recognize it and accept it as inevitable

One of the reasons there MUST be change is that there is the process of growth and change that a character goes through during a novel. If, at the end of the book, Ms. Piggy is still threatening to smash Spock's silly Vulcan face and Elmo is still trying to get Yoda to tickle him it's probably better material for a sitcom than a novel. Most novels include some sort of growth or change in a character and when using "store bought" characters we must understand that by the end of the novel they cannot be the same Mr. Spock that we started with.

So what planning AM I doing?...stay tuned, I'll add that in another post

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Gearing up for NaNoWriMo!!!

NaNoWriMo--National Novel Writing Month has, for the past 10 years, encouraged individuals to allow themselves to insanely undertake the furious writing of novels during the month of November. The goal is to write at least 50K words of your very own, original, never-seen-by-the-world-before novel. It's a fun, exciting, productive, and completely crazy undertaking that hundreds of thousands of people take on each year.

This will be my fifth year taking up the NaNoWriMo challenge. I have "won" the challenge 3 of the past 4 years I've "competed" and am hoping for a 4th Certificate and another year of bragging rights.

The process of trying to write a novel requires for some people absolute isolation, the right soundtrack, or a nervous breakdown....for myself it requires feedback. I need people to bounce ideas off of, chat with and who can gear up my crazy-center just right. I need people who can get excited when I tell them that my fictional main character just punched/kissed/broke-up with/ran away from some other completely fictional character.

Will you help? Will you be one of my team? Will you let me excitedly share my story or exercise my writer's block frustration?

Ideal helpers will be available for chatting by way of phone or gchat. Those who are available late at night when I do most of my writing will be especially appreciated.

Let me know if you'd like to be part of my audience/support/feedback group for this November.

Thank you, thank you, thank you in advance.

~ Valerie

I want out.

How many times have I written this post?

Really? I think at least once a year and often times more I just get the itch. I just feel like I want to jump ship or run away or whatever cliche expression you want to put to it.

I feel lost: I don't know where I am and I don't know where I'm going--LOST.

I look at jobs on job boards and can't find a single query that gives me any result I'd even vaguely be interested in. I ponder what it would be like to sell most my stuff, put the rest in storage and move somewhere...anywhere... and then just find a job to pay the bills...any job. Would I be happy as a waitress in Portland? How about in Paris? Would I enjoy teaching English in Korea? Would I be happy as a receptionist in South Africa? Where? What?

I know this often happens to me with the changing of the seasons, with the oncoming cold. I know it rained all day today and I was consequently in a kind of crummy mood. I know all this, and I know that days from now I may not feel this as strongly...but won't it still be there?

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Planning

So I've spent the last couple of days visiting cemetaries and funeral homes and my new 3 person family (my mom, my brother and I) are working on all the arrangements with an assorted army of people providing food and support from outside.

I really disliked the lady at the cemetary who kept "selling wrong" and driving me crazy by repeatedly telling us they were the cheapest around (value FIRST lady, then raise price AFTER the customer brings it up). She also kept throwing out the names of people on headstones and telling us how they died and acting as if we might recognize them because of their story ("Oh now, he was 19, he died last year in a car accident...He was in the back seat drinking and having a good time with his friends"). Weird!

The lady at the Funeral Home was amazing though: consumate professional. Brought up every item we might consider buying and why we might want it and how it is normally done. Listened thoughtfully as we explained how a Baha'i Burial and Funeral is "normally" done and asked appropriate questions. Simply told us our estimated expenses so far and noted that "You can keep that in mind if you like when looking at caskets."

Shopping for caskets and vaults (the concrete or metal box that surrounds the casket in the ground) was interesting. We ended up choosing a simple but elegant casket in Pecan (a lovely wood and my dad did love a good pecan pie). I was really tempted to ask if they used sustainable forestry practices but I was told I shouldn't. My brother and I were talking about asking for Pine as we figured that as Pallbearers it would be a little lighter. (Balsawood might create a bit too much drama if the bottom fell out ;) ) My brother also said Dad would really like the Scarlet and Grey "Brutus" version designed specifically for Ohio State fans.

I'm strongly lobbying for playing the Script Ohio marching band song (an Ohio State Marching Band tradition) when we bring the casket to the grave but Mom thinks it would be silly. I think it would be joyous, and the song always brought a happy tear to Dad's eye (no really!), I think it would be appropriate.

I understand that the Imperial March from Star Wars might be a bit too much, and border on silly, but I really wish we could do this. But it's more my Mom's day than mine.

Anyways, I have paperwork to do and lists to make.


Funeral services will be held at the Schoedinger Worthington Chapel, 6699 North High Street, Worthington, Ohio. Visitation will be from 9:00 - 10:00 a.m. and the service will take place from 10:00 - 11:00 a.m. There will be a procession from the funeral home to the Blendon Central Cemetery on the corner of Dempsey and Spring roads in Westerville. Following the internment a reception (approx. 1:00 p.m.) will be held at the Johnston Homestead at 164 Linabary Avenue, Westerville, Ohio.

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Marriage/Commitment/American Dream/Chastity

Why has the status of marriage sunk so low that we believe we can get by with on-the-job training rather than years of disciplined study and growth?

A friend of mine was talking to me recently when she said this:

"So anyways monogamous bliss isn't so blissful all the time"....."in fact it lacks a little spice".

So today I was on a Myspace group page with a bunch of Baha'is talking about chastity and I came across some interesting views and a cool analogy that reminded me of her words

Here are some excerpts from the discussion:

[sex has] become totally MATERIAL. People are viewing the material in a significant other before anything else, thus they idolize it....sex becomes another activity, a material activity like any other - one to explore and take lighter than these standards [the standards of chastity and upright behavior set by religion].

It's like food. If you visit cultures where they eat the same thing everyday, they are not discontent with that at all. They never say, "oh I wish I had a different food". Of course not, because they don't know of different food, they are comfortable with what they have. Likewise if you try to get them to eat something totally foreign, they would be compelled to eat what their diet is used to. However, if you or I were asked to eat the same thing every day, we couldn't take it. Why? Because we are so used to having something new all the time.

I don't know if it's just having something NEW, we're used to having sweet, and savory, and spicy. We try it all, and we can't imagine life without dessert. If and when there aren't limits (such as weight gain, cost, and societal norms) governing us we tend to overindulge and gorge ourselves on these things. (I know I would live on chocolate, cheesecake, dr.pepper, and fatty cheeses and sugary desserts forever if I could). But take a poor child in Africa and ask them the last time they "ordered" dessert, or gorged themselves on cheeses or chocolates. Perhaps it is not their CHOICE whether or not to eat these indulgent foods, but in their world they do not yearn for them either, or miss them the way I would if they were taken from me.

How different are the pleasures of "the flesh" from the pleasures, desires, and cravings of palette? Do our actions create our cravings?

It is the same is with our "romantic relationships" in the West. We are surrounded with it in this society. Not just in practice, but in how there is just an exaggerated emphasis put on it in society. It is very very very VERY difficult then, to go from having all of that [liberty, variety and sexual freedoms], to going to a stable monogamous relationship. People get discontent so fast with another, and no longer wish to stay in [the relationship], then go off and find something else.

There were days in this country where the focus from the beginning of a young person's life was to find a good partner and then marry them. That was the dream. What was the classic tale of the 50's? Marry your high school sweetheart.

Today it seems that dream has been contorted into something where most people believe it is normal, expected, and ideal to:
-have a sexually adventurous life while young and "free",
-become emotionally and financially independant, and
-get some great toys,
and then you will settle down and have kids when you find someone who complements you (sexually, financially, and socially).

If this truly is to end up in marriage and child rearing, this is not only an improbable dream, it is set up for failure, as the things one would need for the end result are not taught through the practices at the beginning and indeed, the opposite values and needs and desires would be nurtured and grown.

Would you expect to become a CFO by
-taking many short term jobs,
-dating a lot of people and
-shopping yourself into debt?

No... why not? Because in order to become a CFO you must not only prove yourself to the people that will hire you, but you must spend years to develop your skills. Those skills being nurtured by
-long-term employment and responsibility,
-relationship building and management skills, and
-financial planning skills.

THIS is why CFOs are more likely to have had longer term employment, be married or in a stable relationship, and be personally financially sound. Not because they became a CFO and then found these things, but because they became the sort of person that would have the qualities necessary for being a successful CFO and eventually became one.

So why would one think that

-having a sexually adventurous life,
-becoming emotionally and financially independant, and
-getting great toys

would prepare them to be a suitable spouse... Where

-monogamy,
-shared finances and an emotionally co-depentant relationship, and
-a bit of sacrafice and restraint in your buying in order to save for children and future expenses

is going to be important.

Could you be a great CFO without the work experiences? Maybe. Could you be a great spouse without the experiences that help you develop skills for being a successful partner? Maybe. But do you really think the person who has been at many short-term, low-responsibility jobs will adjust easily to the pressures, hours, and responsibilities of a C-Level position? Do you really think what we (of the West) seem to consider "ideal" for a young person today is really best preparing them for a married life?

Why has marriage been alloted to the type of low-status ideal that has on-the-job training? Might lack of training, be why it also has 50% turnover rate?

Why do Americans spend millions of dollars reading self-help books to find out how to "make things work" and develop better timesaving, business, organizing, and managing skills and so little time or energy becoming more loving, more nurturing, more kind, more giving...becoming the kind of person who is READY for a loving relationship and that can raise intelligent, thoughtful, creative, and loving children?

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Survey

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Valerie
Birthday:	June 16th
Birthplace:	Columbus Ohio
Current Location:	Chicago Illinois
Eye Color:	gray
Hair Color:	blonde (Feria #94)
Height:	5'5"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	all the really white people
The Shoes You Wore Today:	crappy black work shoes
Your Weakness:	chocolate
Your Fears:	needles...at least those attached to syringes
Your Perfect Pizza:	Adriatico's w/ lots of cheese & veggies
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Get a better paying job
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	;)
Thoughts First Waking Up:	push button...make stop
Your Best Physical Feature:	my appendix
Your Bedtime:	late...or later. Usually between midnight & 5AM
Your Most Missed Memory:	I don't remember.
Pepsi or Coke:	Dr. Pepper...although I've been breaking the addiction for years
MacDonalds or Burger King:	which one is destroying rainforests quicker? We'll have the answer after THIS...
Single or Group Dates:	dates?...huh?...oh, yeah just the two of us, I hate having to impress EVERYONE
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	no thanks, Earl Grey if you've got it, with plenty of cream & sugar
Chocolate or Vanilla:	yes please
Cappuccino or Coffee:	none for me
Do you Smoke:	nope
Do you Swear:	is Mom around?
Do you Sing:	horribly, but mostly in the car
Do you Shower Daily:	is a day between sunrise & sunset or between getting out of bed and leaving the house?
Have you Been in Love:	who are you again?
Do you want to go to College:	sure....right after I pay off my first college loan.
Do you want to get Married:	definitely, just maybe not to you.
Do you belive in yourself:	probably too much
Do you get Motion Sickness:	not usually
Do you think you are Attractive:	I kiss mirrors
Are you a Health Freak:	no
Do you get along with your Parents:	most of the time
Do you like Thunderstorms:	love them...unless I'm driving or walking
Do you play an Instrument:	does using your body as an instrument count?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	no
In the past month have you Smoked:	no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	...hmmm...no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	outside malls only...and just because I work in one
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	no
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	not that I'm aware of
Ever been Drunk:	no
Ever been called a Tease:	yes
Ever been Beaten up:	no
Ever Shoplifted:	no
How do you want to Die:	with a full stomach and an empty bladder
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	young
What country would you most like to Visit:	I want to go back to S. Africa	CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!