Junk Food

The other day my friend commented that I probably "don't even have any junk food in your house". It's true, I ate it all. I try to keep from buying it because I know that if I do the end result will be that I will eat it... all of it...and probably in one sitting. I try to avoid that, and not having it is a great way of avoiding it.

So when I get a craving for junk what happens? I cook, prepare, and scour my house for any morsel of tasty bad-for-you food... This happened last night.

So with my sugar/salt/carb & creamy sensors on high I looked for forbidden foods. What I found and what I ate would make most people laugh at it's relative "unhealthiness" but to me--total junk.

I had fresh strawberries and wanted some sort of ice cream/whipped cream sort of topping so I whipped up some silken tofu, soy milk, agave nectar, and orange oil to make a lovely thick cream for my strawberries. Then I found processed american cheese slices in the fridge...DANGER! ;) I melted two slices in the microwave and ate them plain, then, enjoying the cheesy goodness so much I made a grilled cheese sandwich with some really great sprouted wheat bread and margarine. It was sinfully delicious even if it might be on someone else's healthy eating end of the spectrum (on mine it is most certainly on the other end).

So yes, I eat junk food, it's just a higher level of junk.

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Temptation, Restraint, and Self-Control

It seems to me as if the idea of freeing oneself of attachment--through restraint, moderation, self-control and avoidance of temption, and, in doing so, living a life in a state of peace and meditation was really one of the central messages taught by Buddha. (although I'll be the first to admit I don't know nearly enough about Buddhism to warrent my claiming to know its teachings well.)

These themes, however, went along well (in my head anyways) with what I was saying in my post about Dieting and Religion, so I thought I might include some Buddhist quotes on the subject:

"The Tempter masters the lazy and irresolute man who dwells on the attractive side of things, ungoverned in his senses, and unrestrained in his food, like the wind overcomes a rotten tree.

But the Tempter cannot master a man who dwells on the distasteful side of things, self- controlled in his senses, moderate in eating, resolute and full of faith, like the wind cannot move a mountain crag."

"In the same way that rain breaks into a house with a bad roof, desire breaks into the mind that has not been practising meditation.

While in the same way that rain cannot break into a well-roofed house, desire cannot break into a mind that has been practising meditation well."

"Things which are wrong and to one's own disadvantage are easily enough done, while what is both good and advantageous is extremely hard to do."

"Guard against physical unruliness. Be restrained in body. Abandoning physical wrong doing, lead a life of physical well doing.

Guard against mental unruliness. Be restrained in mind. Abandoning mental wrong doing, lead a life of mental well doing.

Guard against verbal unruliness. Be restrained in speech. Abandoning verbal wrong doing, lead a life of verbal well doing.

The wise who are restrained in body, speech and mind - such are the well and truly restrained."

All from: ~Dhammapada - Sayings of the Buddha (Translated by J. Richards)

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Direction

Feeling lost? Don't know your place in the world?...the solar system?...the universe?...the entire history of sentient beings?

Check out the blog post here and start your day anew.

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Diets & Religion

So some who have been around me already know that I've been on a pretty strict diet. It is based on numerous studies showing, time and time again, evidence that a diet with little to no animal products, a high level of green vegetables and legumes, and a limited amounts of whole grains and nuts will lead to a healthier, longer life with less likelihood of cancer or heart disease. For the first six weeks it does not allow for any animal products at all, and allows only foods with little-to-no added fat, sugar or salt.

Now that I've been embracing this diet, what I find interesting is the many correlations I've been finding between diet and religion.

I started thinking about desires, about the things we want regardless of the knowledge that they may be bad for us physically or spiritually. My religion prohibits drinking alcohol and I'm often asked, "Aren't you ever tempted?" (people always emphasize that word when they ask, perhaps because they believe it might be an offensive question), but I can honestly reply that "No, I've never really been tempted to drink alcohol". But over and over I've heard people say "Oh, I don't think I could ever be a Baha'i, because I just don't think I could give up alcohol." or they couldn't give up this, or that, or some other thing. I, personally, never really thought of drinking as an option, I always thought of it as "just something I don't do" and I never really questioned or was tempted to break that particular prohibition. But certainly there are other things within my religion with which I have not been so resolute. There are plenty of my beliefs and Baha'i laws that I have broken, sometimes with thought, sometimes without. When those things come up perhaps my will is not so strong, and my resolve melts between a mixture of beliefs of "what is good for me? What is best for me? What will make me happiest?" My faith is shaken by a confusion of selfish desires. I desire what will make me happiest (usually for the moment) and I question whether following the beliefs and teachings will lead me there now or ever.

So back to the diet, and my love of chocolate and cheese...
Q: Do I truly believe these prohibited foods are good for me?
A: No
Q: Do I still desire them?
A: Yes, but * (I'll get back to you on this one)
Q: Would I rather live a longer, healthier life?
A: Yes
Q: Is momentary pleasure or happiness better than living a longer, healthier life?
A: Hmmmm.....

So back to religion...
Q: The things that are prohibited, are they good for me?
A: No
Q: Do I still desire them?
A: Yes, but *
Q: Would I rather live a deeper, more spiritually healthy life?
A: Yes
Q: Is momentary pleasure or happiness better than living a more spiritually healthy life?
A: Hmmmm.....


When I first looked at this diet I thought it was far too strict for me to be able to manage. I've been vegetarian for years, but have always said "I could never be vegan, I'm far too in love with cheese". But nonetheless I have been feeling more and more uneasy over the past few years as I read about the dairy/veal industry and about the levels of saturated fats and hormones in cheeses. I'm also a big fan of chocolate, of pasta, of sugary desserts, and of quick and easy foods (mmm...Easy Mac!). So as I read this book and recognized that even being vegetarian I'm increasing my risks of developing cancer and heart disease simply because of my high dairy/cheese intake and other poor food choices, I felt my resolve to at least try this diet increase page by page. And the promise that I could eat AS MUCH fruits and vegetables as I wanted and never be hungry and still have the pounds just drop off was very tempting, but I wasn't sure it would overcome my desires for all the foods that I love.

So as I began the diet I yearned for things. I craved cheese. I craved chocolate. I craved caffeine and bread and pasta and butter. But I didn't eat them. I told myself that I just had to stick too it and wait to see the results, or I would never know. The arguments for better health remained in my head.

There is a concept often spoken of in religion which we usually term "attatchment" which is very similar to the idea of addiction. We talk about being overly "attached" to the things of this physical world. They can be things like food or comfort, money, possessions, or our habits and lifestyle. But these attachments are often the things that keep us from being able to develop our spiritual virtues. Greed keeps us from compassion, generosity and selflessness. Our love of our position in life may keep us from humility and loving kindness. Our love of our daily habits and routines may keep us from being able to attend new events and grow in new directions.

Americans in general are addicted to bad foods. We are COMFORTABLE and ATTACHED to the foods, the flavors, the textures, the restaurants, the lifestyle and the time we spend eating. We can't imaging a celebration, a loss, a meeting, a date, or even a death without it relating to food. We are resistant to change. Most of us will deny this attachment and will deny proofs of the unhealthiness of our choices not because of the lack of clear evidence, but because we do not WANT to believe it because it would mean we would have to give up so many things we are so attached to or be forced into admitting that we are deliberately doing harm to ourselves.

In similar manner, we sometimes try to fool ourselves by only choosing to accept beliefs that will suit our lifestyle rather than really looking for the truth and then doing what is truly best for the health and growth of our soul. I saw a good analogy someone posted on MySpace to another person who was stating how hard it was when he became a Baha'i to be around people who were out drinking and partying every weekend without him now:

"That's the problem with planting a seed. In order for that seed to grow, it has to completely shed its old form. The seed has to break apart and cease to exist, in what metaphorically can be a painful transformation of giving up parts of its old existence. But the beauty is that as the seed is watered by God's living waters as you put it, a new plant emerges that is capable of producing such wonderful fruits. It's the same seed/plant essentially, just in a new form that has always potentially been within just waiting for the right stimulus. Be patient, you will at some point start to see the growth within yourself, if you haven't already!"
~Shoshona on Myspace

Now the other thing to take into account is the effect that a diet, or living a life as prescribed by God will have on our body or our soul and in a transformation into a truly different person. Although I hate the expression of being "born again" (because it seems to absolve any previous transgressions and to indicate an instantaneous change) the concept of changing into someone new, and fresh, with new goals and desires is a very real thing that many people go through in their lives by many different means. It may be law school, or army boot camp, or a spiritual awakening, or taking on a new diet and exercise regime, but people do dramatically change their character and change into a person with different goals and desires and outlooks than their previous selves would have had.

Back to our questions earlier:
Q: Do I truly believe they are good for me?
A: No
Q: Do I still desire them?
A: Yes, but *

*Yes, but with knowledge about their effect on my well being and time spent away from them I find I'm less attached.

So the first real realization I notice from this diet is that only AFTER I've changed my behavior can I appreciate the results. You could TELL me that I would look better and feel better and that my desires for these foods would decrease, but I could not foresee the internal changes and not anticipate the feeling I would have afterwards. I did not know the person I would become.

But the second realization is that the results were not my motivator for change, my BELIEF in living a healthier life is what truly motivated the change, and only after a month of dieting can I really appreciate some of the feelings and results of this change and my resolve to stay along the same path has increased as I tread it. The same I think is true of living a life more in accordance with your spiritual beliefs. The results of "living the life" one believes in cannot be quantified and described externally, they generally are something about which only experience speaks most clearly and directly . They also do not generally come as a result of yearning for the, many times unknown or unexpected, end results but rather from the knowledge and belief that the things prescribed are the things that are best for the health of your soul, and as you follow the laws and strive and work towards exemplifying your beliefs it becomes far more clear that this is the right path to be taking.

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Oh, and for any who are curiousI've lost 16lbs in one month so far on the diet from "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman.

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Note to self:

Valerie,

I feel it necessary to write this so that you can see it in print and have something to remind you should you need reminding. I'm putting it in public so that you have no chance of refuting it later. I know it is hard, but it's for your own good.

I want you to remember that it is NOT okay to let your friends do things that hurt your feelings. You have fairly thick skin, and are quite forgiving, but that only emphasizes the fact that if it has hurt YOU, it was probably pretty wrong.

I know you love your friends in a way others do not, and that you have never been able to stop caring about people once you started to genuinely CARE. You have been an excellent judge of character for the majority of your life, and because of that it has not been necessary for you to "stop" a friendship very often, but sometimes people's character has some aspect of it that is not easy to see at first, and that you overlook, and then when you discover that that person doesn't have the qualities worthy of your love and caring, or that certain deficits in their character are harmful to you, it is too late for you to remove your affections.

If the flame of the stove will burn you, and you can't turn off the stove, you should keep your hands away from the stove... It is the only way. If you know that a friend can and will only harm you, and you can't turn off your caring for them, then you should remove your hand, and walk away from the friendship sticking around would be like hoping that the flame will die, or your skin will thicken before you've destroyed your hand.

Walk away.

Your ever-loving, analytical self,
Valerie

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Cognitive Dissonance Part II

Cognitive Dissonance...the more, now that it's later:

I've been thinking over this theory because it not only makes so much sense to me, but it explains certain things that I think about a lot.

To begin with, I feel I need to explain a bit about what I think, and how I think...

I've always been able to do exceptionally well on aptitude and intelligence tests, to cram for exams and to know and remember a multitude of facts that most people would forget completely, but am often at a loss to remember what I ate for lunch or the names of good friends when trying to recall them. Information and trivia get stuck in my mind while things that I cannot categorize do not. I am in no way trying to assert my intellectual superiority over anyone here, I've actually always felt that this has just been "given" to me, and I've never had to work at it and have felt really weird about that. I never thought it was fair that I could remember things and perform well in things so easily while other people were truly working HARD and diligently and following the rules, as I slacked and accomplished the same results. Even though I was on the easier side of the equation, it always made me feel bad for not working harder.

But this is where the "HOW" of my thinking comes into play, and also where Cognitive Dissonance has a role in that play.

I've believed for quite some time now that the reason I do better than others in a large number of things does not have anything to do with how HARD I work, but rather with my ability to creatively solve problems so that the work is not as hard. I used to say that I learned all the paths in my college campus by which had the fewest stairs, which had the shortest path, where all the pop machines and bathrooms were and which had the most time spent indoors as a means of being "lazy"....Hold on, hold on, we're not to the Cognitive Dissonance part yet...My point is that I analyzed all the options to find the option that provided the best or most enjoyable experience. If it was cold out, I spent more time indoors, if I was carrying a project I avoided stairs, and so on.

I've said it before: I analyze everything. I just do. I don't know why. If it's part of my life, I analyze it. Whether it's the best papertowel for the money, or what career I should choose, I've analyzed it. And in doing so, I believe I've come up with better answers. Maybe not better for others, but better for me. This analysis extends to include my beliefs. What I believe and how that relates to what I DO is part of my "regular maintenance" thinking-->Hence all the previous "ranting" posts on feminism, vegetarianism and my religion.

So the ideas and theories behind cognitive dissonance hold that we try to come up with new encompassing theories or beliefs when we hold two opposing beliefs to be true at the same time and are unable to hold them without some internal conflict or some resolution. It seems to me as if everything I have come to believe has come about through this struggle, and the balancing acts and resolutions that ensue.

I believe that this process has been part of what has built the creative problem solving skills that allows me to acquire knowledge and education so much more easily and efficiently than other people do. I think the average person finds a straight path in their mind between a starting point and the destination point and my mind instead balances out all the information surrounding each point and determines the best, or most interesting, or most efficient, or most inclusive path of all of them in order to reach the destination point. I think this ability to connect sometimes seemingly unrelated things allows me to creatively solve problems better than the next guy and remember details that otherwise are lost in most people's minds.

I've read that the synapses (sp?)in our mind act as the points along the path that allows a thought to be processed and that as we age the paths that are unused are (and I'm using a bit of poetic license here) "overgrown" and lost. I've also read that older people who do puzzles, riddles, and games help keep their minds active and creatively thinking are less likely to experience dementia and some of the effects of memory loss. These games and puzzles are the sort of activity that a creative problem solver enjoys as the key is usually thinking in a "different or unexpected" way to come up with a non-obvious solution. Those with less ability and desire to think creatively would likely enjoy less and be less able to solve puzzles and games. It makes me think that those who question and analyze their lives and go through the struggles of cognitive dissonance are more likely to develop stronger, more adept and agile minds.

It's interesting to me that the people who don't struggle, who are accepting and unquestioningly resolute in their beliefs are in some way KEEPING themselves from expanding their minds from being able to see other side/situation/solutions. And yet, for the most part, they probably consider themselves happier than the Questioner.

So today I am thankful for my struggles and my doubts, for my questions and my self-evaluation, because with their help I'll probably be able to be out-and-about while others are trying to remember where they left their dentures.

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Trader Joe is my new crush

OMG!

Trader Joe's has apparently been tracking me for years and stocking up on everything I buy or am likely to buy...EVER!

I hit the first aisle and knew I was in trouble. Item after Item was something I wanted and I immediately found myself holding back in a way I usually reserve for tool stores, knitting stores and chocolate shops. I don't think I've ever had this kind of experience at a grocery store!

Perhaps I should explain that my normal grocery store experience entails searching every aisle for the few things in it that I will eat, and enjoy, and can afford, and then having to do a second round when, after I finish the first round, I realize I don't have enough food in my cart.

In a size less than 1/4 that of my normal grocery store was almost everything I ever buy. I was there just before close, so the produce was a little bit low, but that didn't phase me at all, especially when I got to the frozen food section and found vegetables galore, with mixes I've never even seen at my store.

They had the Tofutti Cuties Ice Cream sandwiches that my Dominick's quit carrying a couple of months ago, they had an awesome selection of nuts--roasted, raw, salted, unsalted, They had Indian ready meals for $1.99. They had Frozen Nan and Garlic Nan!
They had, be still my heart... GELATTO!!!! I love Trader Joe....no, really, where is he? Get him over here, I want at least a hug!

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13 years!

Some facts that make me happy to be vegetarian and consider being vegan:

-Cost of hamburger meat if water used by meat industry was not subsidized by US taxpayers: $35/pound
-A report by the USDA estimates that 89% of US beef patties contain traces of the deadly E. coli strain. Reuters News Service 8/10/00
-Antibiotics allowed in cow's milk: 80
Percentage of staphylococci infections resistant to penicillin in 1960: 13%
Percentage of staphylococci infections resistant to penicillin in 1988: 91%

I've been looking into vegetarianism more and more lately and the reasons behind why I do not buy or eat meat. My number one reason has always been the environment; the large scale production of meat and meat products is one of the leading causes of deforestation and ruining of land, as well as being incredibly harmful to waterways, a large source of methane gases, extremely wasteful use of grains, water and land, and detrimental to the healthfulness of both the animal products produced and the vegetables produced on shared farmland or within the plume of factory farming waste.

I do not come from the viewpoint of it is immoral or wrong to kill an animal for eating, nor do I believe that occassional consumption of meat is detrimental to one's health. Yet the more I read about meat production in the United States today the more I feel that the way animal products are being produced today is morally reprehensible. From chickens that live in tiny cages for years on end never seeing the light of day or able to move their limbs, to the purposeful maiming of animals (beaks cut off or legs broken), to the yanking of a one day old dairy calf from its desolate and crying mother, I can't help but feel that mass production has led farmers to become the keepers of generation upon generation of tortured and tormented victims, rather than the farmers of old who reared animals for necessity and allowed them as natural a life as possible and as quick and clean a death as possible, with as much of the animal used as possible and very little wasted. That manner of honoring the life of the animal is long gone.

Not only have these industries suffered animals to live in a horrible manner, they also hurt the very consumers they sell to. Slaughter houses in particular have neglected the quality of the end product in favor of the quantity of the end product, with more meat than ever improperly handled and contaminated with e-coli. More eggs than ever are infected with Samonella and the amount of hormones, anti-biotics, dioxins, carcinogens, bacteria, and other toxins and contaminants found in animal products only continue to increase.

In the past my viewpoint was that I would not purchase these products and therefore would not support the industry that produced them. My feeling being that the only reason they treated animals worse and worse was to make the bottom line more profitable and that the only way I could make a significant statement would be to make it less profitable by refusing to purchase meat. Yet I see how this fails in certain ways. If I am no longer purchasing from the meat industry I am for all intensive purposes discounted-- I have no effect on them. I am NOT one of their customers, and as such why would my opinions hold any sway?

So I've been doing research on what I would consider to be more responsible farming. Organically grown, free-range, and pastured farmed animals neither live the horrific life, nor as dramatically contribute to the ecological decay that factory farmed animals do. Although there is little to say that the pasture raised animals are slaughtered more humanely or safely, it is still an improvement that I would like to support.

I've done a little (I plan to do more) research on companies supporting organic/environmentally conscious farming and ethical treatment of animals, and will be making an effort to support them...I will not be purchasing meat there, but will be buying other products with these companies. In this way I will not be supporting the grocery stores that support the unethical companies. Primarily I've found that Trader Joe's has been acting in a very pro-active manner regarding these issues, and perhaps even to a greater extent Whole Foods has been supporting it as well. In supporting these companies I am refusing to support those companies that buy, distribute, and in turn contribute to the prosperity of companies that put production and profits ahead of the environment, animal welfare and their own customer's health.

If you're interested here are some excellent articles on Trader Joe's & Whole Foods' efforts towards better animal treatment:

Whole Foods Market's "Compassionate Meat
Trader Joe's Goes to Cage Free eggs only

And for excellent info on Vegetarianism/Veganism and its related issues GoVeg is an great resource and is very interesting reading

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